SELF-DISCIPLINE Series

Set Boundaries and Start Saying No

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We all need to put boundaries between ourselves and other people because we need a certain amount of space in order to think clearly and act properly. If you don’t put up boundaries, people will abuse you and your kindness. You might even be forced to do things that go against your will and your beliefs simply because you did not have boundaries in place. When this happens, you’ll lose your self-respect, and your self- esteem will come crashing down. Boundaries Are Important Boundaries are hugely important when building your self-discipline. It protects you and it helps dictate how you want to be treated. It keeps you real and honest with yourself. It will help you exude confidence whenever you tell someone “no”. When you have boundaries, you only have to say “no” once because more often than not, the person doing the asking will believe you the first time you say it. You may not believe it but rejecting people is part of life. No matter what we do, we can’t escape getting rejected by other people and you also will do your fair share of rejecting others too. If you’ve always acquiesced to doing tasks you don’t particularly enjoy, but you’re too afraid of rejecting the person doing the asking, then you need to start practicing. Otherwise, it can get to an unhealthy point where you continue doing things that are counterproductive to goals you’ve set for yourself. If you’d like to achieve your dreams and your goals within a specific time frame, then you’d need to start saying “no” to requests and tasks that do not align with your values and your goals and instead waste your time.

Saying “No” The Right Way

If you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, don’t. Because you can’t control people’s emotions. You can, however, make sure you deliver your rejection in a humane manner. You can try explaining why you’re saying no to make them understand your situation.

Also, try using a gentle tone when you deliver the bad news especially if other people are within hearing distance. Rejecting and embarrassing people at the same time is a very rude thing to do so avoid delivering your rejection in such manner.

Setting boundaries and learning to say “no” are important milestones for your self-discipline. If you really find it hard to say “no”, just keep in mind that the more you say “no” to others, the more you say “yes” to your own success.